OSIRIS Techworks (aka OSIRIS Technologies)
Written and Illustrated by Underling
“Apparently progress has been slipping of late and a couple of projects have gone over budget, so things have been hotting up somewhat for the male employees while the plans are brought back on track - all of their Christmas leave was cancelled and there's now some serious micro-management going on, including unannounced spot checks and plenty of at-desk motivation provided for those who need it.” – “Do Your Bit If You Want To Sit”
“Lacking motivation? Struggling with a deadline? Speak to your manager. She is here to help you succeed.” – OSIRIS Staff Notice
Male OSIRIS employees have to undergo rather thorough physical exams, and Mr. Phillips has just been learning what happens when the nurse doesn't get the co-operation she needs: “I hope we understand each other now, Mr. Phillips, although that really shouldn’t have been necessary. The company procedure for male medicals is clearly laid out in your employee pack, and yet you chose to be a baby about it. I’m going to be adding a note to your file about your difficult behaviour, which I’m sure will be dealt with thoroughly back at work. They have whole days set aside for that sort of thing. For now, if you give me any more trouble then you’ll simply be paddled again, even harder – after which you’ll be getting your internal exam, AND providing your sperm sample, out there in the waiting room in full view of everybody.” – “Medical Mischief”
“'When productivity drops, trousers are sure to follow'; 'Missed deadlines lead to hot cane lines'; and finally, 'Do your bit if you want to sit'.” – OSIRIS Company Slogans
“Kevin Peters could scarcely remember spending a more uncomfortable morning at OSIRIS. Wanda, his overbearing and frankly sadistic line manager, had insisted he facilitate that day's course - Disciplinary Techniques - for the new female intake. Given just a day's notice Kevin had booked the training room, printed and bound manuals, sourced equipment, attached diagrams to whiteboards, and sent out invitations. With an empathetic shudder he had secured two well-used caning dummies - stitched and stuffed, he knew, by inmates of the local men's prison - to heavy tables. Finally satisfied, if more than a little apprehensive, he had waited at the door to distribute the course books and the long, whippy OSIRIS-issue canes to the arriving trainees. Here they came, giggling in anticipation, one or two of them taking the opportunity to upbraid him for no good reason - trying out their newly-appointed roles as managers of men…” – “Equipment Failure”
“OSIRIS recruitment notices. The paper advertises jobs at firms where all the managers are female, and motivate their male staff through the routine use of corporal punishment.” – “Another World”
“The vast majority of OSIRIS employees loved Discipline Fridays. But then the vast majority of employees were female, and thus exempt. For the unfortunate men of the company, never promoted beyond the junior grades, these monthly occurrences were a time of dread. While underperforming women were invited to better themselves via training courses, their male counterparts were motivated through public humiliation and corporal punishment. On each third Friday of the month, they queued naked in the busy corridor outside the interview room and awaited their turn with the paddle. The CEO insisted on conducting these sessions herself: while all her girls were familiar to her through the many corporate events organised for female staff, this was almost the only contact she had with their male colleagues. Unfortunately her busy schedule often forced her to keep the men waiting and on display, sometimes for hours at a time. Never mind – they had only themselves to blame, and would have to come in over the weekend to catch up with their work. No matter the delay, the interviews themselves were never hurried, and the agenda was always the same. The trembling employee stood hands-on-head in front of the desk while the report on his failings was read out by Janine, the CEO’s dedicated PA. He was then subjected to a lengthy verbal dressing-down that could be heard several offices away, and that the smirking Janine enthusiastically minuted for his file. Finally, he bent over the desk and presented his bare bottom for the long, hard application of the paddle. Although now into her sixties, the CEO was a keen squash player and had a powerful arm. A satisfied smile played across her lips as she provided the necessary incentive to these backsliding underlings. As the sounds of wood on skin and muffled cries echoed up and down the corridor, the same women who had enjoyed the spectacle on their arrival that morning now found excuses to run new errands. It was a fresh delight to see those who had already been dealt with facing the wall to display the livid hues of their well beaten behinds, and those still awaiting their fate squirming at the sounds within. No doubt about it – OSIRIS was a great place for a woman to work.” – “Office Discipline (aka Discipline Friday)”
“There was some none-too-gentle help with stripping, some very enthusiastic penalty paddlings, and then of course the dressing up. For those who 'forgot' to bring their own, Sheila has a big box full of all kinds of gorgeous lingerie, and I think every bit of it got used at some point. Who'd have thought it'd be so much fun? Like having a living, life-size 'Sissy Barbie'. With realistic squirming action!” – “Step Right In”
“We actually had quite a bit of resistance this year - the girls tell me that there are always one or two of the men who think they can get out of it, but this time there were at least six or seven who turned up in their regular work wear. God knows what they thought was gonna happen - 'um, I've been told for weeks that I'm supposed to spend today in lingerie, but I thought it'd be ok if I just wore my suit as usual.' Think again, little man.” – “Step Right In”
