I structure my spanking sessions in a way that allows space, not just for the spanking itself, but for the conversations that surround it. The length of the session that the spankee chooses refers only to the spanking. It does not include the time we spend talking before and after.
Before we meet, we have an email exchange, and of course I ask the questions I find necessary to understand the spankee’s experience, interests, and intentions. That gives us a foundation, but I find the in-person conversation to be much more meaningful. The conversation is not going to go on for hours. It is just enough time to allow for connection and care, which for me matters just as much as the spanking itself.
When someone arrives, we usually begin with a cup of tea or water and talk about how they’re doing, settle any nerves they might have, talk about spanking (of course), and then begin the session naturally. For many people, especially those who do not often get the chance to speak openly about spanking, this part is essential. There is no clock running during this conversation. It is not something we rush through.
Even when I have seen someone many times before, that initial check-in is important. It allows me to understand where they are emotionally and physically before we move into the intensity of the session. And afterwards, we talk again. That conversation is a form of aftercare, a way to come back from that “floaty” place that spanking can sometimes take you to before stepping back out into the world.
So while this is what I aim for, I understand it is not needed for every spankee, and some are on a strict schedule that does not allow for conversation. For me as a spanker, having that connection with the spankee through conversation outside of the spanking really does contribute to a better session, as it allows me to understand their comfort level and mindset throughout the experience. I have also found that most spankees appreciate this approach and are respectful of the time and structure I offer.
If you’d like to hear how spankees have experienced my spanking sessions, you can read their testimonials here.
My Heath Ceramics teapot and cups, a small piece of Northern California here in Utrecht to begin each spanking session.
